Lately, I've been thinking a lot about death. It feels like thinking about the future is wrong. Because we never know when we'll die. It could be that after writing this, I'll suddenly die.
No one in this world knows the exact time for death to come. We are often surprised by unexpected news of death. They seemed fine before, the next day they were gone. This keeps circling in my mind.
Actually, I'm not someone who likes to write journals. Because I feel like there's nothing interesting in my life and no one cares about what's happening in my life. But, time just goes by without meaning. I don't have any memories of my life, everything feels hazy.
Until I thought, it seems like writing a journal isn't a bad idea. After all, I can never really 'tell' someone about my feelings, problems, or anything about my life. But, keeping everything to myself isn't a good option either. Writing seems like a pretty good alternative to consider.
I've tried pouring out my thoughts through stories on Instagram, but it feels like my friends are starting to get sick of all the sad posts I make. Hahaha. I don't know, because most of the people who see my posts are people who know me, I feel like I'm being confined and exposed.
I've also thought about making videos like most people do. But, when I watch them again, it feels like something is wrong with it. I see myself as if I want to 'prove' something and pretend to build an image.
I've also tried to find online friends from various friendship platforms just to tell stories. But, nothing feels truly sincere that makes us able to tell stories. In the end, they disappear, especially if they're from different countries. What can you hope for? Hehe
So I thought, what if I just write on my blog (although I don’t know if this blog will still exist till I die). After all, the people who read it may not know me. Maybe I can be more free to tell stories. So I decided to dedicate one topic on my blog to journaling.
I will write until the day I can't write anymore. Roughly, maybe until I die. Like counting the remaining life that God has given me.
The journal will start on April 1, 2025, until a time that is yet to be determined.
If you happen to read my journal, welcome to my world and nice to meet you. This is the beginning. #maybe
You might find weird, cringey, sad, annoying, and all sorts of negative stories. But, you might also find happy stories. I just want to try to understand myself and life better.
If you no
longer find the continuation of my journal, maybe I'm no longer in this world.
Please pray for me to be blessed with goodness. See you in the afterlife.
(uwiepuspita)
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