Day 22 Till I Die

 

Hello Love,

This morning, I made jajangmyeon and meatballs.  It's actually packed with calories, but I was craving something spicy and felt really hungry today.  I ended up eating it for both breakfast and lunch.

I started watching a movie, but I stopped in the middle.  I just wasn't into the story.  Haha.  Maybe I thought it was a bit cliché.

I wanted to buy some water today, but the shop I usually go to was closed.  I tried to order it through the Alfagift app.  It was more expensive, but I got a discount, and they delivered it right to my door.  So, it was convenient.

Remember how I tried to buy shrimp yesterday? Well, I finally got to eat some today!  The food stall I usually go to was open. They said they had just come back from the village.  I was so happy!

Oh yeah, my protein package arrived today. I'm going to start my diet tomorrow.  Maybe a little extreme diet, but it's okay.  My mental health hasn't been great lately, and I haven't felt like eating.

It's kind of funny and contradictory, because I said I was hungry earlier. But it wasn't really that kind of hungry.  I wasn't truly hungry, but just wanted to eat a lot to relieve stress.  Although my appetite hasn't been great.

Yesterday, I went to my English class.  I don't think it's going to help me improve my English quickly.  I need to find another way to make it faster.  This is my first step – writing in my journal in English.  Although I still need the help of AI to correct it, the AI says I'm getting better every day.

I sent a comment on my ex-senior's post. I asked if he had any job vacancies at his company, because it looks like an event organizer or something similar.  But he just asked me for details about my divorce. I don't think that was necessary for him to know.  I kind of regret sending him a message.  Haha.

My mental health is not good today.  Maybe it's because my period is coming soon.  I'm feeling really sensitive.  I just don't want to interact with anyone.  I'm so envious of my ex.  How can he so easily run away from problems, move to another place, and not care about anything?  Here I am, having to deal with everything he left behind.

If I could, I would move to another place too.  Maybe somewhere where I can start fresh. Somewhere where people don't know me, don't push me, or rush me in anything.  I don't know. My mind is complicated.

You know, I cried today.  I watched a video about a pet meeting its owner in the afterlife.  They were so happy to see each other again.  It made me think about my cats – four orange cats.  I don't know where they are now because my ex sent them somewhere I don't know without telling me.  When I came home, they were gone.  So, I was thinking about them and crying.  I pray to God to keep them safe. I hope they're all okay.

I think that's it for today.  See you tomorrow, Love.

 

(Uwiepuspita)


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