Day 12: Your criteria for a life partner
Choosing a life partner isn't easy. Especially when you're not young anymore, your mind starts to mature, you start to see everything from many aspects and sides. Especially like me who has experienced failure in romance.
When we're young, we usually idolize love and liking. So we think that as long as we love, we can go through anything. We don't care about the bad things that might be in our partner.
That's why the term ‘love is blind’ appears. Because usually, we seem to close our eyes, as long as we can be with the person we like. The truth is, feelings of love alone aren't enough. Many people don't understand the meaning of 'commitment' and will leave when the 'love' they idolize slowly disappears.
So what kind of partner criteria do you
want to make your life partner? Let's think about it together. Here are some
criteria according to me that might be important to consider.
1.
Religious
Religion is a very important factor. This
not only applies to Muslims but also to all religions in my opinion. Being
religious doesn't just mean 'knowing' religion, but understanding and applying
it well in life. With someone who can treat their God well, it's expected that
they can also guide us well. And together, we can practice religion for the
purpose of Heaven.
2.
Mature Attitude and Thinking
Mature isn't just about age, but attitude
and thinking are more important. Someone who is emotionally mature should be
able to act and behave more wisely. This will make the relationship healthier,
especially when problems or arguments arise. It's expected that all problems
that arise in the relationship can be solved with good communication, not
running away. Besides that, they can show their anger in a good and gentle way.
3.
Willing to keep growing.
There are those who say 'accept me as I
am', so you have to accept me with all my flaws. That's not entirely wrong
because no human is perfect. But, it will be wrong when we're too comfortable
with our own flaws. If we are aware of our flaws and shortcomings, we shouldn't
demand our partner to accept those flaws and shortcomings. But, as humans, we
should be able to try to fix those things and grow into better people.
4.
Hardworking.
Giving up is the easiest thing to do in
life. But, choosing to struggle is a better thing. Hard work isn't just about a
job that makes money, because that's for sure. But also in all aspects of life.
It's important for someone to give their all in everything they do. It doesn't
have to be perfect, the important thing is to do the best you can.
5.
Open-minded and broad-minded.
Communication is the most important thing
in a relationship. Imagine you live with someone and for as long as you live
with them, you can't communicate or discuss anything. It feels like torturing
yourself, doesn't it? That's why it's important to find someone you can discuss
anything with, who isn't egotistical about their own opinion, can give a
different perspective, and most importantly, is willing to 'listen' not just
'be heard'.
6.
Not too focused on the physical.
Having certain physical criteria is
natural, for example, you want someone who's tall, handsome/beautiful/sweet,
has a round/oval/long face, is slim/curvy, and others. But, what needs to be
realized is that all of that doesn't last long. All of that is a trust from God.
The older you get, you'll change, your face might not be as beautiful as it
used to be, your body might not be as slim as it used to be, and many other
things happen according to their nature. It could also change because of things
we don't want, for example, getting hurt or something else. That doesn't mean
we ignore it and don't take care of it. It's important to find someone who
realizes that.
7.
Appreciating and prioritizing their
partner.
I'm writing this opinion from a woman's
perspective, okay. In my opinion, when a man decides to 'take' a woman from her
family, he must realize that he is also taking responsibility from the woman's
family for providing for, protecting, caring for, and so on. Especially also
giving her a sense of security and comfort. So he must be able to prioritize
his partner in everything and involve his partner in compromising about
everything, especially things that require a decision.
8.
Protecting the partner's secrets.
Maybe sometimes we need to tell stories or
vent. But, that doesn't mean we can vent or tell stories to just anyone,
especially the opposite sex. It's best if all the problems in the relationship
are kept between the couple. Meaning, if possible, solve it together until you
find a solution or a way out. If you can't, then work together to find someone
more experienced who can help solve the problem. Don't vent separately to
different people, exposing each other's flaws.
9.
Maintaining attitude and actions towards
the opposite sex.
This is slightly related to the previous
point. As a partner, we must protect our partner's feelings. Even though we
have many friends of the opposite sex who may have been close before, we must
realize that it won't be the 'same' anymore when we're in a committed
relationship with someone. If you used to interact a lot with the opposite sex
on social media, whether it's following on Instagram or chatting on certain
apps, all of that should be done consciously to no longer be done. We must
consciously limit those interactions, because there are feelings and reputation
that must be protected. Don't give Satan a chance to tempt you.
10. Realizing
the meaning of commitment.
Not many people understand the meaning of
'commitment'. As I briefly mentioned in the points above, physical appearance
and feelings of love are things that can change. So what's left is commitment.
When we've committed to our partner, then maintain that commitment as best as
we can. If we hold fast to that, hopefully, we won't be easily tempted by
things outside.
Talking about the partner we want will
never end, it seems. Those are some criteria that seem important in choosing a
partner for me. What other criteria do you think are important to consider?
See the full challenge here!!!
(Uwiepuspita)
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